…everyday to make a living. Well more of 8-4, but the gist is the same. Last week was technically my first week of work, my boss was kind enough to let me do it from home, so I could ease into my routine and catch up on all my emails and past weekly reports.
But today I made it in the office. I picked out my outfit the night before (aiming for something that made me look fat rather than pregnant), set my alarm early for the full hair and make-up routine (for some reason if I have make-up on it helps me to hold back tears. The threat of raccoon eyes keeps me together) and listened to the 90’s rap/r&b station loudly to distract me from my thoughts during my commute.
I am fortunate that my office has been very supportive, they’ve sent cards, signed up for our future blood drive and shared our story among themselves. But I guess there is always One. One person who just didn’t get the memo. I guess I’m lucky it was just one, though I’m sure it won’t be just be just one for long.
As I walked out of the bathroom and back to my cube I said ‘hello’ to the One, and got a ‘did you have the baby?’ back. My heart just stopped. Tears flooded my eyes and I said that ‘she passed’ and walked quickly back to my cube and cried. So I made it til 9:35. Apparently I’m not afraid of raccoon eyes after all.
I emailed Matt, texted my best friends and pulled myself together, making it to my meeting for 9:45. The texts and Matt’s responses helped distract me from going into a sad spiral. It didn’t hurt that my friend sent me cake (which obviously pairs well with my healthy salad lunch). But the band-aid has been ripped off and I survived it. I’m going to use the evening to relax. I’ll have a glass of wine, talk to Matt, hug the pets and get ready to do it all over again.