Day by Day · grief

We had a girl

Last night we went to our friend’s house for a going away crab feast. M and I are almost the only couple without children. So a lot of little boys running around. We also saw friend with a 10 month old who was adorable and I managed to even tickle his foot, though couldn’t get much closer.

It was a good night. Old friends, good memories. And then a friend looking at all the boys said something along the lines of ‘God forbid, one of us has a girl, she’ll have a lot to choose from’ and then doubled down and repeated himself. I replied ‘yea god fucking forbid’ and then went outside and cried.

I wanted to go home but I also didn’t want to create a scene. He attempted to apologize later in the evening but I just said to forget it. I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. I know he didn’t mean it. No one would be that cruel. But is it possible in less than three months, it’s forgotten?

We had a girl. Her name was Nora. She should have been at this party, meeting our friends and their kids. Instead we sat there watching our friends with their kids, at all different stages, highlighting what we’re missing.

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