Writing for Grief

To be kind to my sad self

” Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow. You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend.”

-“Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye, from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems.
© Eighth Mountain Press, 1995.

To be kind to myself, I need to let myself know its ok to still be sad, and its ok to forget to be sad.

To be kind to myself, I need to allow myself to pull away from moments or events that are too overwhelming.

To be kind to myself, I need to be less kind to others.

To be kind to myself, I need to be more kind to others,

To be kind to myself, I need to eat and drink less of my feelings.

To be kind to myself, I need to move myself to exercise.

To be kind to myself, I need to be ok with wallowing in bed.

To be kind to myself, I need to talk about Nora and what I’m missing.

To be kind to myself, I need to not worry about making people feel uncomfortable.

To be kind to myself, I need to not worry about being a black fucking cloud.

To be kind to myself, I need to find the balance of grief and the person I want to be.

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