Day by Day · grief

The weight of pain

So I have never been a person who dealt with stress by losing my appetite. This has been no different. A month after we lost Nora I went down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Not particularly a weight I was happy about but there it was. In the past four months I gained 15 pounds. 15 pounds of food I don’t remember and drinks that I didn’t need. The weight of sorrow apparently also goes right to my hips. (Apparently I’m never too sad for puns)

So now what. My doctor asked me at my six week check up if we thought we would want to get pregnant again. I said yes, and he said losing weight would help. So there it is. I need to lose weight and instead I gained 15. Great. I went through bursts of energy where I went back to the gym and for every two weeks I went, I stopped for three.

So my new job offers an online weight loss program. I’m calling it fat camp. They have a trainer who checks in with you every week to see how you’re doing. It’s basically calorie counting with moderate exercise and goal setting. So I’m hoping the accountability will help keep me motivated.

This is week two at the gym and I am SORE. With my new job, I am going to be much busier. I’m walking way more and have a great view of the harbor with sunlight. So another plus. So keep you’re fingers crossed for me. I need all the help I can get.

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