This weekend I went home for a girls day with two of my best friends. It was SO needed. My anxiety has been pretty high lately. M’s family had a terrible loss and its been constantly on my mind. We’ve been trying to think of how we can help without equating our loss to theirs, because none are the same and we wouldn’t want to offend them to compare. So we’ve sent our condolences, made reminder notes in our calendars and plan on sending meals in a month when support dies down. We will attend the service this weekend and made no other plans, we just expect to be mentally and physically drained.
We practice self-care in various ways, saying no to invitations, trying to eat/be healthier, only watching comedies, but it didn’t really click how much my friends support my mental health/well being until I was driving back home on Sunday. It was like night and day.
I drove up on Saturday and we walked around Peddler’s Village, got massages and pedicures, and then had a delicious dinner. (I am still thinking about those Pastrami Egg Rolls.) Most importantly was the time to talk in person. We speak daily through text and email which I love, but the face to face contact was missed. One of my friends is 27 weeks pregnant and it was just so good to see her and reassure myself that I don’t have to be a big weirdo around her like I am with other pregnant women. (Well no more than usual).
The massage was also just off the chart. I felt like a completely different person walking out then walking in. I’m thinking about making it a ritual for after every ultrasound. I mean technically it’s almost cheaper than therapy.
I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding things or at least limiting things that would cause me pain, and doing the things that make me a functioning human, but I don’t know if I am actively seeking out things that bring me joy. I’m not saying I don’t have joy. With M., the pets and my friends, I have find happiness, but do I seek it? I’m not sure.