I’m keeping watch on a mother orca, Tahlequah, who lost her calf shortly after birth. She is carrying her baby through the waters of the Pacific Northwest, swimming hundreds of miles already, balancing her on her head. Researchers are watching and worried for her safety as well. They say members of her pod are helping…… Continue reading I carry you
Last night I had a dream. In it, Evie was sleeping in a crib downstairs and she managed to climb up the steps on her own to go to her bedroom. In her room, there was a bunk bed with a little girl with brown hair on the top bunk. She was scared to get…… Continue reading A dream.
I have felt so low the past two days. Not all the time, but lingering below the surface happiness is gloom and anxiety. I wonder if I would still feel this way if I lived somewhere sunny? Is it knowing that Nora’s anniversary is coming or is it the weather that triggers the memories? I…… Continue reading F*** April
I read about fetomaternal microchimerism, where fetal cells migrate into the mother during pregnancy. Per NIH, fetomaternal transfer probably occurs in all pregnancies and in humans the fetal cells can persist for decades. Microchimeric fetal cells are found in various maternal tissues and organs including blood, bone marrow, skin and liver. Have I talked about that…… Continue reading Fetomaternal Microchimerism
I love you to the moon and back my little winter bear I know you know how much that is cause you’re already there. I never knew a love like this could ever possibly exist, I love you to the moon and back as long as I live. -Coby Grant, Winter Bear
two years ago… Matt’s has a big meeting tomorrow, so I don’t want to upset him with this. But I needed to put it somewhere. So here it is. What a fast, unbelievable two years. Still doesn’t feel real. Getting this notification makes me want to go home and climb into bed. I spoke with…… Continue reading On this day
I had terrible dreams last night. They were not even subliminal but shouting in your face resentment towards people who drive me crazy. They supported us in ways they wanted to be supported but not how we needed/wanted? I know they cared and were heartbroken, but not enough. Bah. I went to bed sad and…… Continue reading Womp