“I don’t have a name. I don’t know what to do. The only thing I know for certain is that I must begin to heal. Just like every time my life was re-created, I had to begin restoring the foundered part of my being: the lost relationships, the familiarity of a neighborhood, the sense of…… Continue reading To heal
This weekend, I missed two baby showers and watched a neighbor announce the birth of her baby girl at the hospital Nora was born at. I don’t know why I looked at the pictures. I hid them after we lost Nora, knowing this was coming, but I actively sought her page out to see what…… Continue reading Holding on
I’ve tried a few posts recently, and they all can be summarized as it’s not fair. And even with this being my outlet, I’m even tired of harping on how unfair it is. I was looking at the pictures we have of Nora for our blood drive this weekend, and it’s not fair I only have a…… Continue reading Hitting a wall
I had a dream on Friday night that I was giving birth. In the dream I knew it was our second child and that it was going to be a girl. I had a c-section again but this time I wasn’t quietly crying during it. She came out perfectly healthy. I kept exclaiming how healthy…… Continue reading Dreams
So I’ve noticed over the past month or so, I am losing TONS of hair. To the point where I’m leaving a trail behind me wherever I go. Can’t find me? Follow the hair. I’ve joked to M. that he might have a bald wife soon. I think he’s more concerned about the shower drain. But…… Continue reading Complaints, I have a few.
Last week in therapy M. and I were give a take-home exercise. Write a letter to an inanimate object that you see that reminds you of Nora. I kept thinking about what I should pick, because almost everything reminds me of her. Whether its her urn in our bedroom, memory box on our dresser, necklace I…… Continue reading Dear Dresser,
I read an article on the “Ring Theory” a few years ago and its has been something I have tried to practice in my own life. The creator says it can be used for almost any crisis. Medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. Below is their example: “Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put…… Continue reading Dump Out, Comfort In.