Last night I had a dream. In it, Evie was sleeping in a crib downstairs and she managed to climb up the steps on her own to go to her bedroom. In her room, there was a bunk bed with a little girl with brown hair on the top bunk. She was scared to get…… Continue reading A dream.
I had terrible dreams last night. They were not even subliminal but shouting in your face resentment towards people who drive me crazy. They supported us in ways they wanted to be supported but not how we needed/wanted? I know they cared and were heartbroken, but not enough. Bah. I went to bed sad and…… Continue reading Womp
This weekend, I missed two baby showers and watched a neighbor announce the birth of her baby girl at the hospital Nora was born at. I don’t know why I looked at the pictures. I hid them after we lost Nora, knowing this was coming, but I actively sought her page out to see what…… Continue reading Holding on
I’ve tried a few posts recently, and they all can be summarized as it’s not fair. And even with this being my outlet, I’m even tired of harping on how unfair it is. I was looking at the pictures we have of Nora for our blood drive this weekend, and it’s not fair I only have a…… Continue reading Hitting a wall
I had a dream on Friday night that I was giving birth. In the dream I knew it was our second child and that it was going to be a girl. I had a c-section again but this time I wasn’t quietly crying during it. She came out perfectly healthy. I kept exclaiming how healthy…… Continue reading Dreams
When I was pregnant and thought about Nora’s future, I saw her as a toddler chasing after our two dogs. Ideally, learning how to throw a ball so she and Maggie would be best friends, and using loveable Dexter as a jungle gym. We spent my pregnancy driving them both crazy to make sure they weren’t…… Continue reading Dog Days of Summer
Last week in therapy M. and I were give a take-home exercise. Write a letter to an inanimate object that you see that reminds you of Nora. I kept thinking about what I should pick, because almost everything reminds me of her. Whether its her urn in our bedroom, memory box on our dresser, necklace I…… Continue reading Dear Dresser,